Dying. And living.

We're all going to die. We know this right? Death is an integral part of life. But how many of us live like we positively embrace and accept this fact? In the past few months so many beautiful souls that I know have passed. I wonder if any of us are ever ready. For some I sensed acceptance that it was time to soar. Others felt that they had more to do here. And yet, our only reason to BE is to Be Here Now, to taste the sweetness of every moment in this physical body.

Death Doulas seem like a pretty good idea to me. Just as birth is an elegant human process, so is dying. What a beautiful thing, to be supported and guided in this experience, with love, knowledge and compassion. I want my children to have this understanding, that at the point of death we can choose to be surrounded by loved ones who peacefully allow us to be released from our physical bodies, knowing they must gently support and allow this progression. That the time is right, that it's OK. 

My reasons to stay Earthbound come in human (and puppy) shaped forms. It's all about love. It's only about love. And yet where we're going after this life, there will be no end of love. My belief is that when we die that's all there is, we assimilate back into the one giant heartbeat that is God, or Source, or whatever word works for you. There is no need to fear death, instead we must surely wholly embrace life.

For me, the realisation that this life is a Good One, has been immense. I'm living in a state of abundance, blessed with a healthy family, a roof over my head and food on my table. I don't live in fear or poverty, and so I believe that I have an obligation to do the work in this lifetime - to grow spiritually. Cancer has been my biggest teacher, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm so grateful to have woken up. That I've been able to live every day since diagnosis wholly is a blessing. Sometimes it's felt onerous and intense, but I've never wanted to go back to sleep.

This week I bought a waterproof box. I put all of my cancer journals into it, and only on placing it in the loft did I realise that I'm ready to put cancer behind me, rather than being immersed in it, surrounded by it. I live by it's lessons, but I release the fear. 


For Karl, Hannah, Janet, Rosa, Grant and Maria: 

Raymond Carver - Late Fragment

And did you get what

you wanted from this life, even so? 

I did.

And what did you want?

To call myself beloved, to feel myself

beloved on the earth.