Death Doulas seem like a pretty good idea to me. Just as birth is an elegant human process, so is dying. What a beautiful thing, to be supported and guided in this experience, with love, knowledge and compassion. I want my children to have this understanding, that at the point of death we can choose to be surrounded by loved ones who peacefully allow us to be released from our physical bodies, knowing they must gently support and allow this progression. That the time is right, that it's OK.
For me, the realisation that this life is a Good One, has been immense. I'm living in a state of abundance, blessed with a healthy family, a roof over my head and food on my table. I don't live in fear or poverty, and so I believe that I have an obligation to do the work in this lifetime - to grow spiritually. Cancer has been my biggest teacher, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm so grateful to have woken up. That I've been able to live every day since diagnosis wholly is a blessing. Sometimes it's felt onerous and intense, but I've never wanted to go back to sleep.
This week I bought a waterproof box. I put all of my cancer journals into it, and only on placing it in the loft did I realise that I'm ready to put cancer behind me, rather than being immersed in it, surrounded by it. I live by it's lessons, but I release the fear.
For Karl, Hannah, Janet, Rosa, Grant and Maria:
Raymond Carver - Late Fragment
And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myselfbeloved on the earth.